Hands Held High, Eyes Into The Sky

This brings back many memories.

I haven't used this in quite awhile and I feel like this is a good output source for me.

Honestly, I've been distant from God a lot during high school because of Ariel. So dumb of me to think I could do missionary dating. But I'm glad that God put me on the Navajo mission team or else I would've really lost myself. Navajo has helped a lot. Made me open my eyes and see things much more clear. Not saying I can see 20/20 now, but it's getting there and it's all praises to God and his people.

College is great. A new life for me which I'm STILL adjusting. I'm really happy where I am though. Campus Crusade (Cru) is so welcoming and we're having a youth retreat on October 2nd. Tiffy wanted me to go to her homecoming but it's the same weekend. Feel sorta bad. Hopefully I can go to her homecoming next year, if things still stay the same that is. 

Dillon (one of the leaders of Cru) was the person that made me stay with Cru. I'm so glad I found him. And i have to say that I'm happy for him because yesterday he proposed to his girlfriend, Lauren. And it's quite cute that they're engaged now. Feel sorta sorry for Dillon cause he went through all the work to prep and ask her and all he gets in return is "congratulations, man" from his peers. While Lauren on the otherhand, gets to show off the beautiful ring that Dillon bought for her and explain to her girlfriends how it was all setup and how she's so confused as to what to do as an engaged person. Sadly, they won't have their marriage anytime soon because Dillon is going off into the army and the army is preventing them from setting any dates in the year to come. But they're loving Christians and I'm sure time won't stop them from being together.

Last time I wrote this was almost 2 months ago...

I feel depressed and decided to come back.

I'm...pissed I guess.

Mom fricken hates me now. Always yells at me and never calmly says anything to me anymore. And even admits that she does and says that before she said it calmly and it never worked. Well then how the f*** do you think it'll work, when you're screaming at me? Even though I wanna better relationship, I want her to go fix herself first. She's been so pissy ever since her job and her birthday just passed and she's worse than before. I just can't handle her so I just avoid her at all times. Like just now I had a conversation with my dad. I purposely did it while my mom was taking a shower cause every time she argues, a nerve is hit and I go off on her. Didn't work cause my dad talked too long and then she started yelling at me and I completely zoned her out. I can't wait for college to leave my parents. They suck. But I feel really bad for my sister...I'll fight for her when she needs it.

Another thing about my parents...why they can't the f***in clue that I like Ariel? They're like I don't want you talking to Ariel cause you're hinting something at her. WELL DUHH! But I know that if I say it out plainly, they will be all over me and trying to turn my head the other direction so definitely not a smart idea at all. Yeah...can't wait for college. 

So happy I have no school tomorrow.

I got so much stuff to catch up for the weekend.

I got calculus problems to do.

Not too bad, but I gotta prep myself for the test so I do well.

I have two English papers to rewrite.

-_-

I'm going to try and live without Facebook for this week.

This is going to be hard.

I find myself on Facebook for no reason.

Just the comfort of being on that stupid site is an addiction.

Boom boom boom.

Boom boom boom.

So went to Wendy's house for pictures.

Got there and Adam was cleaning the car.

it was a green Jaguar.

I really need to change the way I talk and treat girls...

I'll admit.

I am in a way a stud.

I lead girls on without even trying to at all.

It happened with shawty and it took me 2 months to figure it out.

Argh so much to do in little time!

Time_time_time------

I had a calc quiz today.

I was totally prepared for it.

But I guess I'm a slow test taker cause when the teacher said there was 5 minutes left I only finished 3/4 of the problems....

If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses,

Sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song.

I'm trying so hard to change.

And yet nothing is working.

Trying to maintain a positive attitude.

~~~~~

~~~~~

Not treating myself right lately.

I think I'm working pretty hard, but I get lazy sometimes.

And that's hurting me physically.

Jet setter
Go getter
Nothing better
Call me Mr. been there done that
Top model chick to your every day hood rat

Emotions.

Emotions.

Emotions is associated to mood, temperament, personality and disposition.

That is, according to Wikipedia.

But can you really describe emotions?

Worst work so far. =(

Grades are so bad.

Getting Bs and Cs left and right on my tests.

That's definitely not a good start.

Definitely not.