Hands Held High, Eyes Into The Sky

Sorry babies. I can't go to homecoming. Please do go. Don't go just because I can't go. I'm not that important.

I better not see you at church on Saturday or else I'll just be even more pissed at the stupid scheduling conflict.

We fought. And fought.

First they asked when Marquette's homecoming was.

I told them if I told them they would say no for sure.

They said I didn't answer the question.

So I gave them the fuckin answer.

Then Phillip called.

Told Phillip I would talk to him later.

Then all of hell broke loose.

I raised my fuckin voice first.

They said I fuckin couldn't go because of mission conference.

I already knew that.

But then they said that they would weigh upon it if it was Parkway's homecoming.

What the fuck?

I started bitchin at them and then they changed their fuckin minds and sad no firmly.

Whatever...

I sort of crossed the fuckin line.

Then they said some fuckin shit that completely made me start bitchin.

I became hella angry and some bitchin shit.

Then I started bawlin in fuckin tears. Not sure why, but now I know.

I told God I wouldn't get mad and I did.

I seriously wanted to fuckin kill them at that moment.

After aruging even more I became a smart ass and started questioning their reason.

Fuck me.

Then I just shut the fuck up.

I didn't want to make this shitty disaster even worse.

Then I just sat in total silence and became angry at myself.

Angry that I wasn't able to control my anger and shut my fuckin mouth.

I regreted that I had the stupid fuckin idea to kill them.

Now I'm just completely pissed at myself.

I really don't care that I can't go anymore, I just don't want you guys not going because of me.

You guys had better go.

Going to go practice stepping cause that's the attitude you're suppose to have while you're stepping, mad. And plus all that clapping makes my hands hurt and hopefully my hands will start to bleed.

Afterwards I'm going to go punch a wall.